


My Friend, My Lover

by syrenpan



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Fenders, Fenders Family Secret Santa 2015, Fluff, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romance, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 18:37:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5508524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syrenpan/pseuds/syrenpan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lamenta asked for :</p><p>"It can be as naughty or nice as you’d like ;) or both. If it would include snow or a snowstorm, that would make me happy :) Tis the season after all. Thank you so much *u*"</p><p>Well, there is a snow storm and Anders is topping. I hope that sort of matches your expectations. Merry Christmas!</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Friend, My Lover

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lamenta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamenta/gifts).



'Well, that was bracing,' Anders panted after the door slammed shut. He was so cold at this point that his face had gone completely numb.

It had been a stroke of luck when they had all but walked into the side of the wooden building because the blizzard was now bad enough that they had only been able to see a few feet ahead of themselves. The inside of the house was dark but it smelled clean which suggested whoever lived here had only left it recently. Anders conjured a mage light to be able to look around. The tiny blue flame flitted around the cabin which looked neat and functional.

'I hope the hunter or whoever owns this place is not caught out there,' Anders said as he walked over to the fireplace where a thoughtful soul had already prepared logs, only waiting to be lit. The mage traced a sign in the air and flames started to soar, quickly spreading much needed warmth.

'Arrg,' Fenris coughed and slumped onto a chair.

'Are you hurt?' Anders asked alarmed. 'Why haven't you told me?'

'Too busy freezing to death,' Fenris replied between clenched teeth, and as if on cue the wind howled, no doubt bringing more snow that would quickly cover their tracks. There was no chance that Varric or Hawke would find them now if they were even looking.

This mess had started because Fenris and Anders had gone to search for some elusive, semi-magical weed they had to bring to this crazy hermit for some sort of ritual. Hawke really had a knack for getting into the worst kind of trouble but they owed him and so they went, leaving Varric and Hawke with the hermit in his hermit cave that smelled of rodents and rashvine. They had considered themselves lucky at this point.

Unfortunately, they had run into a Dalish hunting party who clearly adhered to the policy: shoot first, ask questions later. They had retreated fast and hidden in a ravine they had conveniently fallen into until the hunters had lost interest. Or so it had seemed at the time. With hindsight, the Dalish had probably seen the storm coming and run for it.

Fenris and Anders had not been so lucky. They had had no choice but to follow the ravine until it spilled out into a completely different part of the forest, quite possibly even the other side of the damn mountain. By then the temperature had dropped below freezing and snow had started to fall.

'Let me see,' Anders said and attempted to help Fenris unbuckle the straps of his armour so he could survey the damage. The healer swore when he saw the broken shaft of an arrow protrude from the leather. It had broken off close to the body, probably during their fall, so it was barely visible and would not leave much to hold on to to pull it out. Anders took a sharp knife and cut around the wood until he could strip the armour off completely.

'Shit,' Anders hissed. 'I'm sorry but this is going to hurt.' The arrow had gone deep. How Fenris had even managed to remain conscious, let alone walk all the way, was a mystery.

'Sheer pig-headedness,' Anders suspected.

'Elfroot,' Fenris grunted in response, precariously swaying in the chair.

'Fenris. Fenris! Can you hear me? How much did you take? Shit, I need to do this fast.'

'Mh.'

'Fenris, you can rest in a minute but I need to get the arrowhead out first. It will hurt like hell but I will take care of you, you will make it, all right? You can pass out after I'm done. There is a nice bed right over there.'

'M'kay,' Fenris mumbled as he leaned heavily against Anders' arm and chest.

'No time for cuddling, gorgeous,' Anders quipped but despite everything, he could feel Fenris chuckle bitterly. It had been the wrong thing to say, he knew it as soon as the words had left his mouth but it was too late now, and they were running out of time.

'As if... as if you...'

'Please, not now, Fenris. Are you ready? On the count of three. One...'

Fenris screamed, his lyrium brands flaring brightly, when Anders dug his fingers into the wound and ripped the arrowhead out in one fluid movement. Blood poured fast but Anders was already working to repair muscles and flesh, quickly undoing the damage. Alas, Fenris would retain a small souvenir in form of a scar because Anders was tired and drained as well by the time it came to heal the outer skin all the way.

Nature would have to take care of the rest or else Anders would collapse before Fenris who was despite everything still awake.

'Get up, elf! Come one!' Anders all but dragged a by now semi-conscious warrior to the narrow bed and as soon as he was lying down, Fenris succumbed to sleep. It took a lot of effort but Anders even managed to wrestle the blankets out from under the warrior and spread them over him.

'Stubborn fool,' Anders mumbled, and allowed himself to gently brush the white locks from Fenris' forehead.

His foot bumped into the warrior's knapsack, pushing it over. A few empty vials rolled out. A quick sniff confirmed they had contained elfroot which explained how the elf had been able to make it to the hut in the first place. One vial was left; Anders considered giving it to Fenris despite the fact that he had already taken five of them but that would require waking him up and the warrior needed sleep more than anything at this point.

Anders placed the last potion on the small table beside the bed, scratched his head and yawned. He would have to sleep on the floor in front of the fire, but not while he was hungry, reeking and covered in blood.

Stumbling and muttering about stubborn fools under his breath, Anders searched the cabin for a bucket, spare clothes, extra blankets and food. The Maker saw it fit that he found them all. After a brief wash and supper of cured meat and dried fruit, Anders slipped under the blanket and closed his eyes. The wind howled all night and rattled the shutters but inside the two companions were sound asleep.

The next morning Anders was woken by Fenris shouting, 'Fuck!'

'Hmrf. What...?' Anders asked disoriented with his eyes still closed.

'Wake up, mage!'

Anders sat up alarmed, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he stumbled onto his feet and to where Fenris stood in front of the front door. He gave the elf a puzzled look.

'Open it!' Fenris snarled, gesturing toward the door.

Anders furrowed his brows but did as he was asked. 'Fuck!'

'Exactly!'

There was a wall of snow where the world should be. 'I think I understand why the owner of this place decided to spend winter elsewhere,' Anders said.

'Can you get us out?' Fenris asked.

'What? Throw a fireball and burn the house down? Granted that would get us out, and might I add, killed at the same time,' Anders replied with feint mirth.

Fenris growled and slammed the door shut. The light from the candle on the bedside table flickered as Fenris paced around the room, still only clad in his leggings. Anders could see goosebumps on the elf's chest and decided it would be more productive to get another fire going.

'I fucking hate snow!' Fenris muttered behind the mage's back.

Anders smiled as he searched for kindling. 'I used to love it when I was a child.'

'And does your childish brain have any memories of how to get out of houses covered in the white menace?'

'I think you meant to say young at heart,' Anders retorted.

'I know what I meant, and I meant childish!' Fenris growled back.

'I know you are only saying that because you are injured, so I will let this go,' Anders said magnanimously. 'And yes, I think it isn't as bad as it looks.' He reached for his magic and watched as the flames started to lick higher.

Fenris grunted and stepped next to him, holding his hands close to the fire. Anders turned and carefully reached for the skin where the arrow had pierced the elf's body. It was still red and angry around a scabby patch that would definitely leave a scar. Fenris flinched but didn't protest.

'How are you feeling?' Anders asked, still looking at the wound.

The warrior glanced at Anders and muttered, 'I'm fine.'

'Any pain?'

'Yes, one big one in particular! I'm looking at him right now.' Fenris glared at the mage but Anders was unimpressed.

'I'm asking as your healer.'

The elf looked at him a little startled before he broke eye-contact and admitted, 'It hurts a little, and it itches.'

'That's good. It means it's healing. Just don't scratch it.'

'I know that. It's hardly my first time, and unlike other people I have a bit more self-control when it comes to scratching itches!' Fenris growled back, still looking at the fire.

'Where is that coming from all of a... oh,' Anders stopped when it dawned on him what Fenris was referring to. 'Are you seriously still upset about that?'

Fenris pointedly said nothing and kept staring into the flames. It could just be from the fire but from where Anders was sitting the elf's cheeks looked a bit flushed.

'Makers breath, how often do you need me to apologise for that?' Anders asked exasperated.

Fenris hunched his shoulders and wrapped his arms around himself.

Anders sighed and got up. He took a few steps back and sat down on the bed. 'Fenris,' he said softly at first and then a bit louder and more firmly a second time until the warrior turned his head and glared over his shoulder.

'If you want to be angry about it for the rest of your life, be my guest, I won't stop you but let's face the facts: it was a dare, you were the one who kissed me first, and we were both more than a bit drunk. And I have already apologised to you at least four times. It was two months ago and for the last time: I am sorry!' Anders said wearily and then asked, 'Why are you not letting this go?'

'Forget it,' Fenris snarled and looked back at the fire. 'Let's not speak of it again.'

Anders eyes widened as he pointed out, 'I was not the one who brought it up in the first place.' But all he got was broody silence in return.

The mage huffed in exasperation, grabbed his staff and opened the door again. He remembered winter in the Anderfels. They had gotten snowed in more than once but fresh snow was usually very fluffy and easy to push if you did it right.

He carefully poked the staff into the snow at the very top of the door frame and was rewarded with rays of sunshine coming in through the holes.

'Fenris, look!' Anders called excitedly.

'Do you think we can get out?' The elf asked hopefully and sighed, visibly relieved, when Anders nodded. Anders managed to push quite a lot of the snow away from the door by the time Fenris had managed to get dressed in an old but clean shirt he had found in a chest.

Thankfully, it seemed that the reason the door had looked blocked was because the wind had blown a lot of snow against it and some of it must have fallen off the branches of the tree that stood close to the house, making it look a lot worse than it was.

Anders first pushed and then very carefully melted some of the snow away, creating a path. Everything around the hut was covered in a glittering white, silent blanket that reached up to his knees. The mage grinned. It had been so long since he had seen proper snow, it reminded him of the better days of his past.

'What are you smiling about?' a grumpy voice growled behind him.

Anders turned around and tried and failed to hide his amusement as he watched Fenris stagger along the path he had made, dressed only in the undyed woollen shirt and his leggings.

'I had forgotten how much I love this,' Anders retorted happily, breathing in the clean, crisp air.

Fenris didn't reply, looked around morosely, sniffed and then tried to make his own path toward a small cluster of trees.

'Where are you going?' Anders asked but Fenris kept walking without replying.

'I wouldn't go there if I were you!' Anders shouted in a genuine attempt to be helpful. The trees in question looked already overburdened with snow but Fenris kept ignoring his advice and walked until he was out of sight behind the tree trunks.

Anders watched as a murder of crows circled and decided to land on one of what were now Fenris' trees. A few chunks of snow thudded onto the ground.

'Fenris...' Anders began as he could see where this was going to go but predictably the other wasn't inclined to listen.

'Shut up, mage,' Fenris barked back which was a mistake. His voice startled the crows and they took off in a flurry, causing a little avalanche as the tree unburdened itself all at once.

'Shit,' Anders cursed and stomped toward where Fenris had vanished. Just when he turned around the trunks, a hand shot out from a heap. Anders quickly grabbed it and pulled.

He tried not to laugh, he really did but it was too much to ask. Fenris was caked in snow, making Anders wish he had a carrot, a few coals and a broomstick.

'You are the most beautiful snow elf I have ever seen!' Anders gasped.

'Fuck you,' Fenris shouted, his teeth clattering as he tried to shake the snow off.

'I'm sorry,' Anders coughed in an attempt to stop himself from laughing. 'I tired to warn you but you weren't listening.'

Fenris picked up a handful of snow and threw it at Anders who dodged the blast easily. 'That's not how you do this,' he said and quickly made a perfect snowball.

'Seize your childish antics, mage, or face the consequences!'

But Anders ignored the idle threat, 'Are you ready for this, Fenris?'

'Mage!' Fenris shouted right before the snowball hit him squarely in the face.

Anders roared with laughter as the elf spluttered.

'You are going to regret this,' Fenris growled and bent over to pick up some snow, only to grunt in pain and hold his injured side. He tried to glare at the mage but his face contorted into a grimace.

Anders immediately stopped laughing. 'Shit, I'm sorry. Come on let's get you back inside,' he said and tried to grab the other's arm but Fenris shrugged him off and staggered back to the hut on his own. At least he tried to before his knees gave way and he fell forward. Luckily, the mage had only been a step behind and caught him before he hit the ground.

'I hate you,' the elf mumbled but he didn't fight or protest as he leaned heavily on Anders as they made their way back into the cabin.

'We need to get you out of these clothes,' Anders said, thinking that a wet bed was the last thing his patient needed.

'Leave me be... arrg,' Fenris hissed in pain as he tried to lift the shirt by himself.

Anders sighed and began to help the elf anyway. 'And you are a pain in the arse! Fine, I know what this is all about. You want to talk about the thing one more time. We'll talk about it.'

'Forget it,' Fenris said and tried to shove the mage's hands away.

'I would love to. In fact, I have tried. All I want is for things to be the way they were before but evidently you don't. So here we go,' Anders said angrily while still trying to help the warrior out of the shirt.

Fenris glared at him but seized to resist at last. Anders talked while he carefully lifted the hem.

'Now listen, the way I remember it, one time, Fenris, one time I admitted in a half-drunken stupor that you are not that bad looking which Isabela turned into a bet of sorts. And then you, yes you, followed me home to the clinic and you, not me, you were the one who pushed me against a wall and kissed me – badly – and then turned around and left me sitting on the dirty floor.'

'The way I remember it,' Fenris replied between clenched teeth, 'is that you then got up and stormed after me, tackled me to the ground and kissed me – badly – on the same fucking dirty floor. And then you stopped and told me to get the fuck out!'

'For which I have apologised, by now five times,' Anders shouted into the elf's face who turned his head away, but even in the dim light, Anders could see how tightly Fenris was clenching his jaw whether form pain or anger was anybody's guess.

They had gotten the shirt off and Anders bent closer to take a look at the wound. 'Hold still I need to see what happened.'

Fenris didn't say anything and just stood and waited for Anders to survey the damage. The outer skin had not been broken but something must have torn underneath. Anders could watch the bruise getting bigger. 'I will need to heal this again. Ready?'

'Fine,' Fenris replied and bit his lips as the healing magic started. Anders worked fast and by the time he was done, the elf had visibly relaxed.

'All done,' Anders said and turned around to give Fenris some privacy as he said, 'you should take your trousers off as well, they are soaked by now. Don't worry, I won't look.'

The mage searched for something to eat and started to chew on some dried fruit which he had left over from last night as he listened to Fenris huffing as he struggled to get out of his wet leggings.

Anders had tried his best to forget what had happened between them a couple of months ago but evidently Fenris was determined to not let it go. On the contrary, the elf seemed to still be quite angry which was typical in a way. No doubt he blamed Anders for the whole incident despite the fact that he had started it, the bloody hypocrite.

The mage was well aware that from the outside it seemed they had little in common apart from a hatred for slavery and being loyal to Hawke, but that was only half the story. There was this whole other side to the former slave that most people never even caught a glimpse of. But Anders had seen and treasured it.

Granted, they were at each other's throat most of the time when it came to the rights of mages, and yet when they were relaxing with friends they always ended up sitting next to each other, laughing at the same jokes, often finishing each other's sarcastic jibes.

They even had a working relationship apart form Hawke's little group that their friends probably knew nothing about. They had hunted slavers together – just the two of them, more than once. Sometimes when they were both desperate for coin they teamed up to cheat at cards which was a big secret they had sworn to take to their graves.

Fenris had even scared a few Templars away from the clinic in exchange for a few favours, and he had asked Anders to show him how to read because despite Hawke's offer, their friend was hopeless as a teacher.

At some point during the past three years, Fenris had become his friend, maybe even his best friend. They had never talked about it, or even acknowledged it in so many words. But it was there, and it was important to Anders.

He had tried his best to push the incident out of his mind. He had thrown himself into the work with the mage underground and even avoided Hawke and their regular meetings at the Hanged Man for some time to give Fenris space. When they had eventually run into each other, Anders had immediately apologised and suggested they should forget it ever happened. Fenris seemed to agree at that time. And all the other times thereafter when he had brought it up again.

Why was this so difficult? Couldn't they just forget that Anders was a little bit attracted to Fenris and that the kiss, both kisses, had been anything but bad, a bit drunken and sloppy but definitely not bad, and go back to being friends? Anders had hoped Fenris had finally gotten over it when he had volunteered to come look for the Felandaris with him, but no such luck.

'Why can't you let it go?' Anders huffed out loud, still looking at the flames, exhausted and angry, more with himself than Fenris really. If he had only kept his mouth shut, none of this would have happened.

'Anders,' Fenris said, startling the mage out of his thoughts. 'No, don't turn around yet.'

'Well, wrap yourself in a blanket then,' Anders said a little impatient. The fact that Fenris had used his name instead of “mage” hopefully meant he was ready to talk about the bloody kisses for the final time so they could move on with their lives.

However, instead of the rustling of cloth, Anders heard footsteps on the wooden floor coming closer until Fenris stood right behind him. Anders' breath hitched as he felt the touch of Fenris' hand on his back.

'What are you doing?' Anders asked bewildered. Instead of an answer the elf rested his forehead against the mage's shoulder and sighed.

A horde of wild brontos seemed to storm through Anders' stomach all the way up to his heart where they trampled down the barriers he had erected to stop himself from thinking about the elf. Every single lie he had told himself about how he felt about his friend was dragged into the open and dismissed with one simple touch.

'Why are you doing this?' Anders hissed desperately. This was not what was supposed to happen. Fucking hermit, fucking Dalish, fucking bloody snowstorm!

'I'm a fool,' Fenris said softly. 'And a coward.'

That makes two of us, Anders thought bitterly but before he could say anything in return Fenris asked, 'Why did you send me away?'

Anders bit his lower lip. It was the question he had been afraid to answer. It was what he had been apologising for this whole damn time, wasn't it? Not the kiss, never the kiss, but the dismissal.

Instead of replying, Anders slowly turned around. His heart thudded in his throat as he looked into Fenris' eyes. And for the first time in two months, Anders got to look at his friend, the elf he had grown so close to instead of the grumpy companion he had to put up with for the past eight weeks.

Maker, how could he have hurt him so much? It was the last thing he had wanted to do. Anders hands balled into fists at his side. Trying not to touch, not to get closer but Fenris was making it harder by leaning in until their foreheads touched. Anders closed his eyes and said, 'I was trying to protect our friendship. Because that's what we were, are, we are friends and I didn't want to lose you. I can't lose you. You are too important to me.'

'I thought... is that what you want?'

It would be safer, saner, more rational to put an end to this right now. To step away and mourn what they might have had, rather than risk losing it all because his foolish heart had become entangled in this gorgeous, grumpy elf. There was no telling what this would do to them.

But just when he was about to speak, Fenris leaned in closer. 'I can't stop thinking about the kiss,' his lips brushing Anders' with every word. 'I can't stop thinking about you.'

Still holding back, the mage asked, 'What do you want from me?'

Fenris panted, eyes still closed when he replied, 'Everything.'

'Maker...' Anders moaned, his resolve shattered and he finally took what was offered so freely. He wrapped his arms around the elf, his hands finally free to touch like he had always wanted to. They kissed desperately, passionately. Anders decided then and there that he never wanted kiss anyone else again in his life.

'I'm sorry,' Anders said earnestly when he came up for air, 'I'm sorry for...'

'Shut up,' Fenris commanded with a tug on blonde hair. 'And don't do it again.'

'I'm so in love with you,' Anders admitted at last. He could feel Fenris moan into their kiss.

They worked together, stripping Anders of his clothes which landed on the floor one by one as he used his body to slowly move Fenris toward the bed and gently pushed him onto it.

'You are so fucking gorgeous.'

Fenris bit his lower lip and smiled for once taking a compliment without protest. However, Anders' eyes widened in surprise when Fenris wantonly spread his legs and shamelessly stroked himself, cupping his balls with the other hand as he watched Anders watching him.

The healer stared open mouthed at the display. 'You have done this before,' he exclaimed, not sure whether to phrase it as a fact or a question.

Fenris threw his head back and laughed. 'Am I destroying some sort of virgin fantasy of yours?'

Anders grinned and said,' A bit perhaps, but I'm not complaining.'

Liar, he chided himself, surprised at the intense surge of jealousy gripping him at the thought that someone else had gotten to see Fenris like this, all wanton and ready and willing; smiling, relaxed and burning with desire.

'Fuck, I want you!' Anders admitted as he slowly climbed onto the bed and started to crawl over Fenris, dipping his head down to lick along the inside of the elf's thigh, tracing the lyrium marks before he nudged the elf's hands aside to take Fenris' cock into his mouth.

He enjoyed the sounds the other was making as the elf's hands buried themselves in blonde locks, urging Anders to take him deeper. 'Fuck,' the warrior cried as the mage hummed. He gripped the hair hard and pulled. Anders backed off and cockily grinned at his lover.

'Too good for you?'

Instead of replying, the elf pulled Anders up, groaning as the mage lowered himself onto him, their cocks brushing together. The friction was maddening but not enough for them to come.

'Did you really think it was only you? Ever since that night, I can't stop thinking about your lips,' Anders confessed breathlessly. 'Have you got any idea how often I have fucked my own hand thinking it was your gorgeous mouth instead? How often I have lain awake aching for you?'

'Could have saved yourself a lot of trouble and fucked me right then and there. I have wanted you from the moment I met you,' the elf confessed.

'Why didn't you say something sooner?' Anders almost whined.

'Because you are a giant pain in the arse,' Fenris replied, playfully catching the mage's ear between his teeth and biting down. Anders moaned and retaliated by grinding his hips harder, forcing Fenris to let go and gasp for air.

'But you love me anyway,' Anders quipped. A gamble for sure, so far Fenris had not let on how he felt about Anders other than that he obviously wanted them to be together. However, his bravery was rewarded when the elf nodded. 'I love you anyway.'

There was no room for words after this. Anders claimed what was now his. He blindly fumbled for the elfroot on the bedside table and prepared himself and Fenris. He wanted to take it slowly, he really did. He wanted to make the elf beg for having kept this from him for so long but that would have to wait for another time because right now all he wanted was to be inside his lover.

Fenris shouted his name when he finally entered him with slow, rocking motions. The elf was so tight around him, so hot. He wanted to get lost in him, wanted to be with him like this forever. They started to move together, finding a rhythm that drove them closer to the edge.

'Come for me,' Anders growled as he watched Fenris come undone before he followed him into blissful oblivion.

They slept, ate and made love again until sunset at which point Anders challenged his lover to an old game that all people in his homeland played once the first snow had fallen.

Fenris had been reluctant at first until Anders had resorted to emotional blackmail. 

'Are you ready for this?' Anders asked with a shit-eating grin.

'No, but I'll do it anyway. Are you sure this is necessary?'

'Positively, old Anderfels tradition. On the count of three.'

'Maker's breath.'

'One...'

'I hate snow.'

'Yes, but you love me. Two...'

'Hn. Yes, I do.'

'I love you, Fenris. Three.'

They both started to run, stark naked under the full moon, snow flying in all directions.  

The End


End file.
